I've made multiple mistakes in my life, both in general and in dating. These missteps have cost me more time, happiness and success than I can ever put a number on.
Hopefully, though, you can learn from my screw-ups and make your relationships fit better for your life.
Here are the five worst dating mistakes I ever made.
Not knowing what I desired in a man and letting others tell me what to want.
It took a long time for me to realize that it was okay to actually have a checklist of the qualities I wanted in a guy instead of letting my parents, friends, and even strangers tell me what to look for.
Instead, I spent way too many of my dating years just jumping in with both feet and accepting whatever guy came along. I took too long to take control of my relationships like I had with my finances, work and friends.
Staying with the wrong man for way too long.
It's okay to make mistakes, but the key is to fix them as soon as you are aware it is a mistake.
I had a vague feeling that several guys were totally wrong for me, yet I held on to them for fear that I'd never find anyone better...or at all.
Which leads me to the next mistake:
Let fear of never finding anyone drive my decisions.
First off, it took me a while to realize that it's okay to be alone. It's nowhere near a death sentence. And it's definitely preferable to being in a poor or even abusive relationship with a man.
Don't let the fear of being (and staying alone) tell you what to do, let your love for yourself influence your choices.
Not being confident enough to ask guys I was interested in out on a date.
Yeah, I know this is a tough one. Women are taught to wait for their Prince Charming or for God to send them a man, but we can actually do some of this ourselves too. It’s not against the law or anything.
I remember seeing plenty of men that I was interested in asking out, even a couple of co-workers. But I didn't make any moves and still regret never even trying. Especially since I later found out at least one of the guys WAS interested in me. He was scared to approach me too. What a waste. And all because of fear…of nothing.
There's nothing in any rulebook that says a guy has to always make the approach. It's okay to walk up to a guy you're interested in and just start talking to him. Even if a rejection follows, you'll never have to wonder "what if?”
Not giving certain “types” of guys a chance.
There were a few guys who asked me out that I immediately rejected because they weren't "my type".
I wish I had at least tried; I may have had some new interesting experiences.
You never know who might work out. When you have a plan, you can give guys a chance that you normally wouldn't have.
You have room to date others because you can can check each guy against your wants and needs, and make a swift decision as to if he fits or not instead of being indecisive and wasting time.
Don't make the mistakes I did! Now that you know better, do better!